Perfection
by Chernilka Inky
Summary: What is perfection? Or no: what does it mean to be perfect? It seems that only now She was able to give a true answer to this question.


What is perfection?

Or no: what does it mean to be perfect?

In fact, White Diamond never thought about such a thing. Why should She? She knows that She is perfect, that She is the purest and shining Gem in the whole Universe. She just has no need to ask this question. Because the answer is simple:

Perfection is She.

To be perfect means to be Her.

Supreme ruler of the Homeworld. Everyone is afraid of Her, admire Her. Even the other Diamonds shudder when they hear Her name or voice. Yes, that is how everything is supposed to be. Because She is White Diamond. She is much better than any other Gem. She is better than other Diamonds. Oh, yes...

Silly Diamonds. Silly and so wrong Diamonds. They know how to feel, they can feel. That is why they are weak. But not She. She forced herself stop feeling any emotions for a long time. And that is why She is better. She will never allow herself to feel sorry and pity like Blue and do unprofitable and thoughtless actions like Yellow. She has no flaws. She always does the right things, there are no impurities in Her Gem and Her word is a law.

Is this perfection?

White Diamond knows the answer to this question.

She is smarter than others, She is much better. And She is merciful. So merciful that She "shares" Her purity with others. A good ruler does this. And White Diamond knows that She is a good ruler. After all, if something were wrong, no one would be grateful to Her.

But all Her Gems are so grateful!

And White Diamond does not need anyone. Is there any reason why she would need someone who is worse than She? Those millennia when other Diamonds were important to Her passed away a long time ago. Now She knows that these moments were manifestation of imperfection and weakness. But now everything has changed.

She is perfect now and She knows it.

And suddenly Pink Diamond appears and ruins everything.

Again.

Pink Diamond. So wrong, so... defective. No, not her Gem. Something is wrong with her, with her soul full of sincerity and kindness. It seems that these qualities are seen in her more that in the other Diamonds. She knows how to love. She sees beauty in everything and this is wrong. The ruler shouldn't feel such emotions and White Diamond knows about it.

The ruler should not feel at all.

Rest of the Diamonds feel, but not She. That is why She is better.

Silly, silly Pink. She was so fascinated by her "game" that she convinced herself that she loves her planet. She left Homeworld because of piece of dirt and organic creatures. White Diamond does not care about the consequences of the youngest Diamond's actions. She does nothing. She prefers not to notice how many Gems were broken and corrupted, how Blue and Yellow feel. She is not going to interfere. Pink Diamond will return.

And Pink Diamond is back. She returned combining herself with a human child. Silly Pink! Her game has gone too far. She convinced herself that now she is a human with strange name "Steven Universe". Now she denies that she took part in everything that happened. She tells that everything did her mother, not she. How silly and even funny. Looks like she really believes in what she is saying. And for the first time is last few thousands of years White Diamond feels at least something. Irritation.

Most of all She wants to return Pink her inorganic form, to remove this shell. She does not like what Pink did. Pink Diamond is associated with lower forms of life. She violated what White Diamond built in Her Empire. Pink even managed to convince the rest of the Diamonds that something was wrong in the Homeworld. White Diamond does not like it.

In Her Homeworld everything is perfect. Gems are not dissatisfied with anything. So why Pink, or whatever she calls herself now, tells other wrong things?

Pink Diamond just does not understand.

Or... is it really not Pink Diamond.

This creature has her Gem but it does not speak like Pink Diamond. It does not sound like Pink Diamond.

It is just acting like a child!

"I am a child. What's your excuse?"

What does this mean? Excuse? About what?

For some reason, White Diamond does not know the answers to these questions.

And only later she realizes.

Selfish. Defective. Not perfect.

Everything collapsed not because of Pink Diamond but because of Her, White. Because She was obsessed about perfection. Perfection of Her, of Homeworld. Perfection that no one saw except Her.

Fascinated by all of it, She completely did not notice how Gems feel. Was someone really grateful to Her? Was She really admired? Is this how perfect Gem should act? It is so selfish and... childish. It was She, not Pink Diamond, who played with Gems' fates. She is the one who act like a child. Is this what Pink Diamond meant?

White Diamond is not perfect and only now She understands it.

Maybe, Pink Diamond, that calls herself "Steven", is indeed much better? She is sincere and kind and sees beauty in everything. She can love. Good ruler must be able to feel. But White Diamond has not felt anything for a long time.

Does She want to feel? Probably.

She wanted to be better, to make everything better. She wanted to be perfect. After all, She was created for this. She is White Diamond.

And Steven said those strange words: "You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are, maybe you can let yourself be whoever you are too".

Perhaps it was worthwhile to listen to the words of the strange creature that did not sound like Pink Diamond but said things that the youngest ruler could say.

Pink Diamond is Steven now. And White Diamond understands it.

And She is grateful to him.

He showed Her his Universe.

At first it was very strange. There were so many Gems around. They laughed and told something to each other. White Diamond vaguely remembered when She saw such sincere smiles on Gems' faces. It was so long ago. Before Pink Diamond got her colony. White preferred not to recall those distant times, She forbade herself to think about them. But now this strange familiar feeling of warmth and joy overwhelmed the ruler. She was beginning to understand why Blue and Yellow look so happy. Why this half-Gem looks so happy. He is Steven, not Pink Diamond, and he changed Her mind.

Are Gems want to be like this? Happy and joyful? Looks like, Steven said about it.

And who is White want to be? Does She still need to be perfect? Must She be better than others?

Yes, She must.

But...

What is perfection?

What does it mean to be perfect?

Perfection is what White feels. Happiness and joy, suppressing the initial confusion and absurdity. Perfection is these pleasant feelings that were hidden behind an eternal, "stone" smile for many millennia. She began to understand Pink Diamond. And She realized who was closer to perfection all this time.

What is perfection for White?

It seems that only now She was able to give a true answer to this question.


End file.
